The Birds and the Bees

Today's letter is a lot more like you would expect:  Full of spelling errors and thinly veiled bigotry.  This is another same-sex marriage letter.  I promise my blog will not be entirely about marriage equality, but it's a huge issue in Illinois right now, and a lot of entertaining letters are being written about it.

 Oh, man!  I am laughing.

It is ridicules to think that because people of the same sex are attracted to each other, that they should be married.
Ridicules to think.  Ridicules.  Oh, right, ridiculous.  Just be honest with your feelings and place a period after "It is ridiculous to think."


Where in God's realm does that occur?
So far, Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington State, and Washington D.C.  And hopefully soon, ILLINOIS.  If those are not considered "God's realm," then you better get out.

Do two male birds make a nest?  If they did, what would be the point?  No eggs would be laid and no young to propagate the species.    Marriage is about biologically being able to produce a family.
Here we go again.  Comparing gay couples to a random non-human animal.  First of all, homosexuality in animals is very, very common.   According to Kate Douglas in the academic journal New Scientist, "Gay behaviour is so common in nature it could be a neglected force in evolution."*  What's even funnier is that one of the studies done in that article was about the Laysan Albatross.  (That's a bird.  A gay bird.) Bringing up animals in these debates is always funny to me.  "Look, I'm not a hateful person, it's just that BIOLOGICALLY, it doesn't make sense."  That's called dog-whistle bigotry.  It's designed to be hateful while sounding pretty harmless.  If you hear it and you believe it, you are a dog.  Secondly, I didn't realize that marriage was purely a reproductive arrangement.  All these people doing it out of love must be wrong.  Let's forget to mention the millions of heterosexual couples who never have children.

We are talking about over 4,000 years of civilization - what has brought civilized man to this point in time: how we have survived.
There's no question mark here or anything.  I'm not sure what this is about.  If this is a question, allow me to provide some response.  Civilized man has gotten to this point by being uncivilized.  We create war, we revel in the poverty of others, and we take as much as we can.  We have survived because, whether you believe it or not, homosexuality has not destroyed us, nor will it.  People are still having babies.  We'll be here until some far more likely threat destroys us.

Have you even thought how this will impact our religious freedom?  
It won't.

Will Catholic priests be sued into marrying same sex couples against their beliefs-
No.  Where are people hearing this?

Just as Obamacare is impacting our religious freedom?
I assume you are talking about abortion.  Don't get one.  In fact, don't even go to a doctor.  EVER.  They may trick you into having an abortion. 

We believe it is time to support marriage between a man and a woman, and our support will go to representatives who do so.
Nobody has stopped supporting heterosexual marriage.  Continue to support whichever representative you choose.

For Liberty,
UNLESS YOU ARE GAY.


EXCELSIOR,
Derek   


*Douglas, Kate. "Homosexual Selection." New Scientist 204.2737 (2009): 48-51. Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 Feb. 2013. 
 

On the Fence

It's Valentine's Day, so how about a letter that everyone can agree with.  Mr. Representative, TEAR DOWN THIS FENCE!

Why does the law say there has to be a fence there?  I think they're just being ageist.  Is there a slide that is just way too intense for the younger kids?  I have so many questions, but most of all I just want justice for this kid.  K through 2 deserve equal rights.  I have a dream.

The very first letter

Let's get started with the first letter.  I imagine the author of this letter read it over several times, and thought "This is irrefutable.  Surely, Congress will legislate the gay out of these sinners!"  I will give the author credit by saying that it is comprehensible, which is a feat for someone who has views that were commonplace in a time when education wasn't considered necessary.

Whoo, boy!  This guy has opinions!  Let's talk about them.

Please honor cultural history, biological reality, people of faith, etc...
Let's honor these very broad and subjective categories by imposing our very narrow and simple world views upon them.

It will never be equivalent, it is dishonest, blah blah blah...
This is an odd bullet point, because it doesn't seem to be a complete thought to me.  What is a lie?  Gay marriage is a lie?

Traditional marriage has been honored for millennia in all cultures as a unique institution...
Nice try, but this is not a fact.  It isn't even close.  MOST cultures honor some form of marriage, but what is considered traditional is not the same across the board.  We know from historical texts that marriage is defined differently based on several different aspects of a society's culture.  There are cultures who have no recognizable form of marriage at all.  Furthermore, there are cultures who don't subscribe to traditional gender assignments.  There were Native American tribes that had 3 genders:  Male, Female, and a special Cross-gender of people who identified as the opposite gender of their biological sex.

Only Traditional Marriage contains the biological potential to produce children and familes and to continue to propagate the species...
I will cede the point that YOUR version of traditional marriage is the only one capable of pro-creation.  I don't care, but you're correct.  Your version of traditional marriage is also the only one capable of creating homosexual children, so perhaps you should stop breeding if that worries you so much.  And just so we're clear, the human race is having no difficulty "propagating the species."  Overpopulation will soon be a real threat to our planet.

The world's great faiths consider homosexuality wrong.  The Bible and Torah both, respected by Christians, Jews, and Muslims blah blah blah...
I didn't realize that Muslims were big fans of the Torah.  I like how you conveniently left out the Quran, probably because you don't consider it a holy book, since those Muslims will surely be going to hell.  While I can't say too much about the Torah, I have read the New Testament of the Bible.  I can say with a reasonable degree of certainty that Jesus was not concerned with sexual preference, considering he never once mentioned it.  Instead he chose to focus on ideas like "love your neighbor as thyself," and "Judge not, lest ye be judged."  People who focus on the ancient Judaic laws from the Old Testament have missed the point about Christ and what he stood for.

Gay couples who are willing to commit to an enduring, permanent relationship deserve the same civil rights as a man and a woman willing to do the same.  But that is the role of a Civil Union...blah blah
"Here let me show you that I'm not a bigot!"  We get it.  You don't want us to think that you are a hateful person. However, you contradict your own point within the same bullet by saying that they deserve the same legal rights, but they don't deserve to adopt.  I didn't realize civil rights were granted circumstantially.  Also, there are some huge differences between Civil Union and Marriage.  They are not equivalent for legal purposes.  Marriage is recognized federally, and by governments worldwide, whereas civil unions were created by States to grant legal rights at ONLY A STATE LEVEL.  The word "marriage" also carries an extremely powerful connotation that is not given to "civil union."  There is a very real attitude that somehow a marriage is more important and valid than a civil union.

Whether you believe in Father God or Mother Nature gay marriage will never be equivalent to traditional marriage between one man and one woman...
Again, you are mixing up what you believe to be "traditional" and the opinions of the rest of the world.  Foot binding is traditional in China.  By your logic foot binding should be required for all women because it is traditional.

Science supports...children do best when raised by a father and mother.  There is NO science documenting how children of same-sex couples will fare in general.
This is lazy, and dishonest.  Science certainly does support the fact that children do better with a father and a mother.  As opposed to just a father, or just a mother.  Science does not conclude that a father and a mother is better than two fathers or two mothers.  You are correct that there isn't a lot of evidence of how children of same-sex couples will fare.  Perhaps that is because of lack of sample couples.  Up until recently, this issue was unheard of.  Maybe it's time to perform those studies now that the world has progressed enough to allow them.  I'm nearly positive you will not be pleased with the results.

This issue is too important to be left to a vote in a General Assembly, Senate or House.  This issue should be placed on the ballot of a general election.
 I really don't think you'll like the results.  According to polls Illinois voters are just dandy with gay marriage.  So your final parting line of "I believe a vast majority of your constituents feel the same" is especially hilarious to me.  Not only do you believe in all of this, but you also mistakenly believe a vast majority of people agree.  

Unfortunately, this letter isn't one of a kind.  These opinions are out there, and they come from our classmates, colleagues, parents and grandparents, and so forth.  Luckily, these people are being outnumbered, and even within our lifetimes may be a very small minority.  While it isn't a solution to simply wait for progress, I believe it is important to let these people know that they are a dying breed, and that progress is coming regardless of how many letters they write.

An Introduction

Welcome.

I’ve decided to write a blog for the first time ever.  Like a lot of you, I’ve been poking my nose into people’s facebook statuses about gun control, gay marriage, or whatever LIBERAL MEDIA LIES are currently being rationally discussed by open minded people with real ideas about how to fix…  Just kidding.  I’m really talking about people with opinions that are backed up by pseudo-facts, or are based entirely on ideals based in bigotry.  Some of these people are actually great friends, they just seem to be uninformed, or too quick to jump on the latest internet meme without ever bothering to  determine whether or not that sick burn they just laid on Obummer was based on facts. 

So, I’m writing a blog about what happens when these people have had enough.  What happens when people are tired of impotently raging against politicians on facebook?  Of course!  They impotently rage against politicians TO THEIR FACES.  IN WRITING!  These letters are when the best-of-the-best-social-networking-justice-warriors put on their activism hats, and sit down and draft a well written letter to someone who can actually do something about it!

I’ll have to admit, this blog is going to lean pretty liberal.  I make no apologies, and I’m not going to claim to be fair and balanced.  I will say however, that these letters are entirely real.  Naturally, I will remove personally identifying information, such as the author’s name, address, etc.  I will also be removing the information of the Congress people they were written to.  If you need information on how to write your own congress person it’s freely available!

Please enjoy.  Leave comments.  Tell me that I suck.  Present counter-arguments to prove how wrong I am.  I want nothing more than to be more informed.  I won’t delete any negative comments, unless they are obvious spam. 

Thanks for reading.  Letters to come.